Gillian emphasizes that she has been dealing with her weight for a lot of years, including getting lap band surgery many years back. Gillian says she was probably about age 13 when she tried her first diet, and tried many programsВ to lose weight, such as the Atkins diet and Weight Watchers. Gillian feels like we are always our own worst critics. вЂњI allowed my weight to define me at a very early age.вЂќ Thinking back on seeing herself, Gillian says: вЂњ I was always the fat friend.вЂќ She tended to make fun of herself to forestall others doing so. Then she internalized that excuse until it became her self-identity.

вЂњI would always use being bigger as an excuse.вЂќ While Gillian didnвЂ™t have to deal with bullying growing up, she says she just cut herself off from experiences, such as quitting softball even though she enjoyed it. How Being Overweight Impacted GillianвЂ™s Life Looking back, Gillian thinks that part of the reason she overate and gained weight was to seek out attention from her family. After giving birth to her first child Gillian was a size 16, and at that time she couldnвЂ™t ever envision the fact that size 16 could be an average size. Gillian says she was always bigger growing up, but she actually вЂњdidnвЂ™t realize how averageвЂќ her size was at the time.

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